


Silent Night

by sacredraisincakes



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 04:29:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16825162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacredraisincakes/pseuds/sacredraisincakes
Summary: It had been seven years since Morgana last heard from her brother Arthur.  This wasn't how she pictured their reunion happening.





	Silent Night

“First of all, I just want to say that he’s fine; he’s not injured or ill. You know he has to be fine because if he wasn’t he’d be a patient and I wouldn’t be able to say anything you about this at all so please don’t panic.”

Morgana closed her eyes again and flopped back onto her pillow, mobile squished against the side of her head by the fabric. “Gwen darling, it’s three in the morning. Small words, please.”

She’d been considering not answering the phone at all. Her boyfriend had gone home just past midnight, reluctantly turning down an offer to stay as he had a meeting in the morning across town and was afraid he’d never want to leave if he woke up there. As enjoyable as their time had been together, it meant the two hours of sleep she’d managed since then were not nearly enough to make her brain work to keep up her friend’s rambling.

“It’s Arthur. He’s here.”

“What?” Morgana shot upright, groggy to fully awake in seconds. “He- Arthur? He’s here?”

Arthur. Arthur was here. In Camelot. At the hospital.

At the hospital.

“I was bringing something out to the front desk and I saw him in the waiting room. I- I haven’t said anything to him yet.” Even though the phone Morgana could hear Gwen biting her lip as was her habit when nervous. “I wasn’t sure if I should. I don’t know what he’s doing here, but he’s not a patient, I promise.”

Honestly, Morgana wasn’t sure if she should talk to him either. Clearly Arthur had made his decision on that point. But he was _here_ and she had no idea when or if that opportunity might come again.

“I’m on my way. If it looks like he might be leaving before I get there, have one of the other nurses stall him.”

She didn’t know how she made it to A&E without crashing, but somehow half an hour later she was pulling into the car park. Gripping the steering wheel hard, she took a deep breath. Morgana didn’t know why she was the one who was nervous. She shouldn’t be. She should be angry or excited or determined to get answers. And she was all of those things, but the fear of the unknown tempered them somewhat.

The snow crunched under her feet as Morgana made her way inside. The waiting room wasn’t full to bursting but it was certainly lively for a Tuesday in December. It took her a moment to spot the man she was looking for. For a moment she worried she wouldn’t know him when she saw him. It had been so long, and she knew she certainly had changed since the night he left. But there he was, the same golden boy she’d once worshiped. Only instead of a cocky smile his mouth was drawn tight, lines of anxiety etched deep into his once smooth skin. He wore a thick black peacoat despite the sweltering heat inside the building, and he fiddled with a phone that his eyes didn’t seem to really see.

Morgana couldn’t make herself move any closer, nor do anything that might alert him to her presence. It was her brother. Here, in the flesh, emotionally distressed but otherwise not seeming too much the worse for wear. She wanted to run up and hug him and slap him at the same time, and she wasn’t sure which was about to happen.

A nurse came out to call a young mother and her two children back, and Arthur looked up at the announcement. He immediately dismissed the nurse once it was clear she wasn’t there for him, then his gaze turned just enough to fix on Morgana. His already pale face went dead white.

Morgana took a few shaky steps forward until she was standing before him. She sat in an empty chair, just far enough on the edge as not to risk touching him. She was afraid if she did he might spook and run.

“Hello, Arthur.”

“Morgana,” he breathed. He didn’t look upset to see her at least, only a bit stunned. “What- how did you-”

“Gwen works in the cafeteria. She called me.”

“Oh.” Arthur couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her. She didn’t blame him. He might look a bit different to her, but at least he’d been fully grown when she’d last seen him. She’d only been a child.

There hadn’t been anything odd about the night he vanished, no hint to her that this might be the last time she ever saw him. They had eaten sweet popcorn and watched Mulan. Morgana had pretended to brandish the remote like a sword, and Arthur had laughed and promised to bring her to fencing practice one day. When the credits rolled she gathered the empty bowls, and Arthur had checked to see what messages he’d missed on his phone. He’d frowned at them, but Morgana hadn’t thought that strange. Arthur frequently made strange faces at his phone, especially when Father was on the other end. He’d kissed her forehead and sent her up to bed, ignoring her thirteen year old grumbles about her early curfew.

The next morning he’d been gone. Father had no explanation, but he hadn’t reported him missing either. None of his friends could fathom where he had gone. Morgana’s heart had broken and even seven years hadn’t been enough to heal it.

“How are you?”

Finally, _finally_ , all those stronger emotions Morgana had been expecting to feel won over her nerves and rose to the surface. “ _How am I?_ “ She hissed, struggling to keep her voice low. You vanish without a trace for _seven years_ and all you have to say is ‘ _how are you_?’”

Arthur broke his gaze and hung his head. “I’m sorry. You’re right, I should have started with that.”

Morgana didn’t feel the need to answer that, because yes, he damn well should have.

They sat in strained silence for a few more moments. “I didn’t know you and Guinevere were friends. You didn’t like her while I was dating her.”

“Neither did you,” she snapped back automatically. “We started talking when I was calling Elyan every other day to see if he’d heard anything.”

“He didn’t,” Arthur assured her softly. “I didn’t contact anyone… after.”

“I noticed.”

Morgana had idolized her older brother, and he had always treated her like a friend, despite the five year age difference. The fact that he hadn’t trusted her with whatever had driven him away, the fact that he still didn’t trust her _now_ … she didn’t know where to go from here.

“Why are you here, Arthur? Why come back to Camelot now?”

Arthur winced. “I’m not- we were just driving through. I wasn’t planning to make a stop.”

“We?”

“Yeah.” He looked up at her again, and Morgana could see a fear in his eyes that she didn’t understand. She was angry, yes, but even when she’d been spitfire mad as a child he’d never done anything but laugh. “What did Uther tell you about… about why I left?”

“Nothing.” Not that she hadn’t begged him to. “He just said you had decided you didn’t want to be part of the family anymore and not to expect you back any time soon.”

Arthur’s face darkened. “Of course he said that. Did he also mention my other choice was do exactly what he said for the rest of my life? No matter what my own thoughts or feelings?”

“Why would he do that?”

“Why does Uther do anything?” Arthur snorted. “Because he was ashamed of me and thought I would embarrass him.”

That didn’t make any sense. Father had _loved_ Arthur. Morgana had often wanted to shove her fingers in her ears at parties hearing Father brag about Arthur’s accomplishments in sport or school. How he had been accepted to Oxford and was going to take over the family business.

“Right. Your life was just terrible. Definitely a reason to abandon your friends. Your sister.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do that. He-”

“Whatever, Arthur.” Morgana stood. This was a mistake. She should have left her brother’s memory alone. At least then she could pretend that there was still something good in him.

“Mr Emrys?”

Arthur shot to his feet. “How is he? Can I see him?”

The nurse motioned him to follow. Morgana hesitated, then fell into step behind him. Arthur – _Mr Emrys?_ – didn’t even notice. “He’s out of surgery and sleeping. The doctor will want to talk to you both. He’s going to have a long recovery ahead of him, but he’s going to be okay.”

“Thank God.” Arthur began walking faster despite the fact that he couldn’t know where he was going. The nurse picked up her step as well, unbothered. She showed them to a room, leaving them to do as they wished.

Arthur hurried inside with a sob, rushing towards the figure on the bed and grabbing his hand, lifting it to his lips to kiss the delicate palm. “I’m here, Merlin. I’m here, love.”

The man he spoke to lay unmoving on the hospital bed, bruised face somehow peaceful. Wires and tubes ran from his body to several monitors and IVs. One leg was in traction, and he gasped painfully every few breaths from the cannula. Arthur clung to him like a lifeline, gently smoothing messy dark hair away from his face.

“Arthur,” she whispered. “Who is this?”

Arthur didn’t even look at her, too focused on the sleeping man. “Morgana, meet my husband, Merlin Emrys.”

“You- husband? You don’t have a husband.”

“I do. Thank God I still do. Uther told you I didn’t want to be part of the family, but the truth is he didn’t want me to be part of his. Not after I told him I was gay.”

Morgana was floored. She’d never had any idea. As far as she’d known, Arthur had only dated girls all through school. _And he never liked any of them_ , she remembered. Not Vivian or Sophia. She hadn’t blamed him, they’d both been bitches of the highest order. But not Gwen either, who was the sweetest female Morgana had ever met. That was why Morgana’d been so sure there had to be some secret atrocity about her, that Arthur hadn’t been in love. But there’d been nothing wrong with Gwen or even the awful Vivian or Sophia. They just weren’t male.

“I never wanted to leave you.” Arthur’s voice cracked, and he held Merlin’s hand tighter. “I would have stayed in contact with you, but Uther wouldn’t let me. He threatened to send you away somewhere I would never find you if I reached out. But I thought about you every day. I never forgot you.”

“So you chose Merlin over me?” Morgana hated herself even as she asked it.

Arthur shook his head, looking pained. “No, I swear I didn’t. I knew his reaction would be bad, but I never really thought… I wasn’t with Merlin then, I was seeing this boy named Cenred. Cen kept pressuring me to come out, said he didn’t want to date someone in secret. I understood, so I told Uther. I thought he’d stop talking to me, maybe make some idle threats, but it all went pear shaped. Then Cen broke things off when he found out I’d been disowned and he wasn’t even going to get anything out of it. I lost everything.”

“What about everyone else? Your friends?”

Arthur snorted. “My own father tossed me out and the boyfriend I thought loved me wanted nothing to do with me. I was supposed to trust my friends to accept me?”

“I would have! I do.” Morgana stepped forward, resting a hand on the males’ joined ones. “I don’t care who you love, Arthur. I just wish I could have been there.”

Arthur gave her a small sad smile. “Me too.”

Merlin stirred on the bed. “Arth?”

Arthur attention broke from her back to Merlin. “I’m right here. You’re okay, love, I’m here.”

Merlin’s eyes fluttered open, revealing a startling blue. “Where’m I?”

“You’re in hospital, love. Do you remember what happened?”

“Stopped f’r doughnuts. Goin’ back to the car…”

“A car slipped on the ice and went off the road,” Arthur finished gently. “You pushed me out the way, but you didn’t move yourself in time.”

“You okay?” Merlin’s brow furrowed and his gaze turned on Morgana. “Who’s that?”

“I’m fine, Merlin. And this is Morgana. She came to see you.”

Merlin blinked, then smiled, closing his eyes again. “Oh. That’s nice of her.”

“Does he know who I am?” Morgana whispered to the side.

“Of course he does,” Arthur answered aloud. “I talk about you all the time, don’t I, Merlin?”

Merlin nodded, then grimaced at the movement. “He does. ‘f you weren’t his sister I might get jealous.”

“You never need to be jealous, love.” Arthur leaned down to kiss Merlin’s forehead. Merlin smiled broadly, eyes beaming with affection. “You’re stuck with me.”

There was a knock on the doorframe. “Mr Emrys?”

Arthur and Morgana turned at the voice. “Gaius?”

“Arthur!” Dr Gaius Monmouth hugged Arthur tightly. Obviously Uther hadn’t told his old friend what had happened either. “It’s so good to see you, my boy.”

“What are you doing here, Gaius?” Morgana asked. “You don’t work emergency.”

“They needed a few extra hands tonight, and I volunteered. I used to work in this department before I went into family medicine. I take it you’re here with Mr Emrys?”

The Pendragon siblings were both a bit surprised how easily he seemed to accept the situation, Arthur stumbling through an admittance that he and Merlin were married. Gaius didn’t even bat an eye at the revelation. “He came through the surgery well. You’re going to need to stay off that leg for a while, Merlin, and the pins we put may set off a metal detector or two, but I dare say you’ll recover well.” He explained about signs of infection and handed over a recommendation for an orthopaedist in the area to ensure the bone was healing correctly. “It’s good to see you again, Arthur. I hope you’ll be at the annual Christmas party this year?”

“I- I don’t think so, Gaius.” Arthur shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“Nonsense. I know Alice would love to see you, and those rapscallion friends of yours always show up for a drink or two. Morgana, I hope you can talk him round.”

“He’s right,” Morgana crossed her arms tightly over her chest. “You should come.”

“Uther doesn’t want me there.”

“Fuck him. It’s the Pendragon family Christmas party. I’m part of the Pendragon family, God help me, and I want you there.”

“She’s right, Arthur. We should go.”

Arthur’s gaze snapped to Merlin. “Gaius just said you don’t have a concussion. Do I need to get him back in here?”

“I’m serious. He doesn’t control you anymore. You should be with your family for Christmas.”

“ _You’re_ my family,” Arthur insisted stubbornly.

Morgana could tell this was going to get into a personal discussion she probably shouldn’t be around for. She stepped forward and kissed Arthur’s cheek. “I’m giving you my phone number. I hope you use it. I’m an adult; he can’t keep me from you now. If I don’t expect you’ll be leaving here tonight, but if you need someplace to stay before you start travelling again, I have a flat here in town.” She kissed Merlin’s cheek as well. “Thank you for taking care of my brother. Welcome to the family.”

* * *

Two weeks later, Morgana rested her head on Leon’s shoulder dejectedly, her sweep of the house having come up empty. “I was so hopeful.”

“I know.” Leon wrapped a comforting arm around her waist with a sad sigh. He’d been nearly as excited as her to hear that his best friend had been found and was doing okay. “I was hoping to see him again too.”

“Oh, God, this is what you get up to without me around? You’re defiling with my baby sister?”

Morgana spun around with an ecstatic squeal. Arthur was dressed in his best suit, looking just as she remembered him from the numerous cocktail parties and galas held at the Pendragon manor growing up. Merlin was next to him, manoeuvring himself and a thickly casted leg in a wheelchair. It looked like they had cut the leg off his suit trousers to make it fit.

Leon wrapped Arthur in a bear hug, patting him fiercely on the back. “Trust me, if anyone is defiling anyone, it’s not me.”

Arthur clapped his hands over his ears with a groan. “Ugh, I did not need to hear that. Merlin, can you please wipe that from my mind?”

“Not while we’re in public, darling.”

“I hate all of you,” Arthur pouted, though he was fighting a grin. “Where’s Lance, I can always trust him to be nice to me.”

“He and Gwen and Elyan will be getting here soon,” Morgana promised. “Lance had to work late and he’s their ride.” Morgana whipped her phone out of her dress pocket –her seamstress was an angel, truly– and tapped out a message containing far more exclamation points than she would ever admit to. “They’re going to be thrilled-”

“Arthur?”

Father had frozen in the doorway behind their group. Arthur turned slowly, body stiffening and hands forming tight fists. Merlin reached out and laid a hand on his arm, turning himself as best he could without bumping anything.

“You- you came home.”

Father wrapped his arms tightly around Arthur with a sob, clinging on to him for dear life. Arthur stood stock still, not reciprocating, but not pulling away either.

“I’m so sorry, son. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

Arthur said nothing, letting Uther cry himself out before stepping away. He took Merlin’s hand in his. “Uther. This is my husband, Merlin Emrys.”

Uther hesitated for a moment, then held out a hand awkwardly to shake Merlin’s free one. “Mr Emrys.” He turned back to Arthur. “I’m so happy you came.”

“I came for Morgana, not you,” Arthur rebutted flatly. “If you’ll excuse us, we were just catching up. There’s a lot of that to do. It’s been a long time, you see.”

“Yes, quite.” Uther’s voice was strangled, and he looked like Arthur might have slapped him when no one was looking. Morgana felt a shred of pity for him as her father, but after hearing from Arthur what had happened between them, the shred was very small and shrinking. “Well… happy Christmas, Arthur. Merlin.” He fled.

Merlin squeezed his hand reassuringly, then let Arthur turn him back to his friends. Morgana reached out to take her brother’s other hand. “You did good, brother. Very civilised.”

Arthur’s shoulders slumped. “I’m not ready yet. I don’t know if I ever will be.”

“You don’t have to be ready,” Merlin assured him gently. Morgana could have kissed him. She was so happy her brother had found someone who clearly loved so deeply. “He hurt you. You get to take whatever time you need to heal from that.”

“We’re here for you, mate,” Leon put in.

“Thank you.” Arthur smiled softly. “Thank you all.”


End file.
